Thursday, February 23, 2012

Weathering the storm: Things to do to show you care

This will be the final chapter in my little relationship building series. It was helpful to write out some of the notes I had hastily scribbled in my journal. It sounds like some of you found an inspiring idea or two -- thank you for the positive feedback!

So this list was generated 1) after BT admitting that he felt a little neglected in recent years after Hank's birth, and 2) that there are no decent lists of nice things to do for men to show you are thinking about them (at least that I could find). Some of the following could apply to any man, but some are specific to BT. This is a continuation of my "everday romance" discussion, noting things that can easily be done to show you are thinking about your man in a minimally cheesy way.

- Take a picnic dinner to the park
- Put a note in his lunch
- Drop by work for an unexpected visit (for coffee, or for lunch)
- Put a note to find later in his car, medicine cabinet, pants pocket, or use bath crayons to leave a note in the shower
- Take a day off together (sans kids)
- Go get his car washed/filled with gas (you always wish he would do it for you -- why not do it for him?)
- Show undivided attention re a work story and ask follow up questions
- Pre-frost a beer glass in the freezer
- Take his clothes to the cleaners
- Make room on the shoe rack for his shoes (uhh - probably specific to us)
- Finish sewing Hawaiian shirts that we bought the fabric for 4 years ago
- Buy him new undershirts/wear
- Make his favorite dessert
- Put together a guys' night out for his b-day
- Offer him a day to sleep in
- Put together a themed dinner based on your favorite restaurant
- Give him a day to work on his hobby (beer brewing, fixing up hot rod, etc.)
- Star Wars shaped pancakes
- Chat while we at work (this is nostalgic for us)
- Fix up the bikes (air in tires, polish off rust)

My list of things that would show me BT cared would be a feminine version of this (versus flower petals on the bed, and all the stuff promoted on sites devoted to romancing women). I said when we first started dating that I would rather a guy picked out some little 25 cent vending machine toy for me when he was at the store versus buying roses. BT's approximation of this was buying one of those notepads you stick on the windshield. It was tacky, and designed for somebody in their 60s versus 20s, but he said he knew I was always thinking of new ideas, and needed a way to write them down when I was driving. Awwww!

Thanks again for reading, and hoping to be able to batten down the hatches in case a storm blows through again.

Coming up: A scarf for a fb friend and a baby bunny button book-y shower


Heidi@TheMerryMagpieVintage said...

Great list! This is something that has come up between us lately so I've been trying to actively work on it. My Love Language is Acts of Service anyway. Something I've also been trying to come up with is more (ahem) *racy* ways of showing him I'm thinking of him. That one has been hard for me.

For Christmas this year one of my big gifts to DH was that I planned 12 months of dates--one date each month--for us. I watched all of the Groupons/etc. for 2 months ahead of time to look for things that would be fun and different for us to do. Tomorrow night we're going mini-golfing, something we haven't done in YEARS. I'm looking forward to having more fun, different dates (not just dinner/movie) and spending time together with my best friend, the way we used to do when we were dating/sans kids.

I know he really appreciated the fact that I was making an effort to make our relationship a priority, something I've let slip recently.

Rebecca said...

So I am waaay behind in blog reading. Anyway, I love this. :) And I am with you on the little things meaning more than the typical romantic gestures. I think I'll steal a few of these ideas. My husband's bday was just yesterday but I started the celebration on Friday by brining home his favorite cupcakes. Then on Saturday we had a nice dinner, his favorite movie on Sunday (a man movie lol) and then the ball game last night. Today he told me he was sad that it wasn't his bday anymore.