To make matters worse, I am an intensely superstitious person. As much as my logical brain wants to dictate how I respond to a situation, I instead look for signs from the universe to provide an explanation.
This coming year under the Chinese Zodiac is my ben ming nian - the meeting of my Zodiac year, the Rabbit. Although I am generally happy to have been born under this sign, and feel it is a lucky sign, apparently when your calendar year rolls around again it is not necessarily a good thing. Although the Chinese new year does not start until February 3, I seem to recall a similar pattern in relation to my previous ben ming nian at 24 - that the bad luck started a little early (finding out that my mom had heart block and failure and needed to have a pacemaker installed comes to mind). Granted that year ended with me meeting my true love (but another cat died then, too - I'm sensing a theme here), so maybe the ben ming nian is a mixed bag - as is any year, I suppose.
I will try try try to focus on the positive, and find some better outlets for all the energy I have been investing in my quest for alternative explanations for some unfortunate incidents that coincidentally all happened together in my life. Working out is top on the list, and BT and I have a very aggressive weight loss program planned for 2011. Maybe having those extra endorphins swimming around will turn my thinking around. In the meantime, I plan on eating a healthy dose of lucky foods today :)
*I know it is so difficult for people to know what to say in relation to hearing the news that somebody has had a miscarriage. I myself have been completely tongue tied in the past when I heard the news from friends. The only blessing from my experience was a newfound empathy towards women who have lost a baby. Not that I had told many people until now about my own experience, but, of that group, it is amazing how many people picked up the conversation, either verbal or written, without one word of acknowledgment as to what I had just said. Or just shuffled away from me in case losing babies was catching. If you are troubled as to what to say to somebody (not me - but somebody you know) who tells you this news, a simple I'm sorry that happened to you will be welcome to their ears and their hearts.