Friday, July 23, 2004

Leave your muddy boots at the door

So, it's been forever since I blogged. So much has happened since my last post, and, though this is supposed to be my outlet to pour out my soul and find an empathetic ear, I would rather not go into all the gory details. Suffice it to say, I am a changed woman. Not better, not worse, just different. Ok, maybe a little worse. But getting better every day.

It's amazing how much we are able to absorb. We walk around with our personal "baggage," sometimes for our entire lives. Yet, when people look at you, most likely they do not know what pieces from your past that you are carrying around. You could be having the worst day of your life, somehow drag yourself through the grocery store, and when the clerk asks, "How are you today?" and you reply "Fine." If you're really good, you can say it with a smile.

Bring to mind the worst tragedy that happened in your life. I know, it's painful, but indulge me for a moment. Imagine how you felt the minute, day, week that it happened, and how you feel about it now. Of course, it still upsets you, but somehow we become a little more numb to the pain with each passing day. It must be some sort of defense mechanism that is built into our genetic code.

But, then again as humans, we may start to feel bad that the tragedy does not affect us as badly as it did when it happened. We may feel guilty that our mind is helping us put the tragedy in perspective and just "move on." This is a strange dichotomy of escapism and realism that I wouldn't mind discussing with the man upstairs when that time comes.

Until next time, make sure the ones you love know you do, and nothing is worth an unsaid apology.


1 comment:

eviedee said...

I have SO SO many unsaid apologies, it's awful!